


Pathetic

by shadowshrike



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friendship, Hugs, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 06:01:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9308531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowshrike/pseuds/shadowshrike
Summary: Kaze's self-doubt has given Anankos control of his soul. With Azura's song failing to keep the dragon's will at bay, Xander takes a trip into Kaze's past with Nyx's help to find the root of his madness.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of soldiers falling temporarily under Anankos' control due to their insecurities fascinates me. If it could happen to Takumi, why not any of the other characters who have serious issues? I also like breaking my favorite boys too much - forgive me.
> 
> Inspired by [this beautiful art](http://freshcold.tumblr.com/post/155572617593/pathetic).

A boy no more than twelve years of age with hair the color of bamboo kneeled before a master ninja. The child’s small hands balled into fists in a poor attempt to disguise how his young body trembled. Beside him kneeled another boy in red, sturdier in both build and demeanor.

Kaze and Saizo. It had to be. But why?

“What is this?” Xander murmured to the witch at his side.

“You asked to save him from the possession,” Nyx replied, as if that explained everything.

“And his childhood has to do with why he’s slipping?”

“Apparently. Something here must have acted as a foothold for the darkness consuming him,” she confirmed. Cool eyes slid up to judge the crown prince who had teetered dangerously close to that edge himself - more than once. “Are you having second thoughts? We can try Azura again.”

The pendant and song which chipped away at Azura's essence had proven only a temporary respite from Kaze’s growing madness. That was why Xander had volunteered to try Nyx’s method in the first place: as much as they all longed to save Kaze, no one could justify risking Azura for the life of one soldier before the final battle. Not when the ninja may already be lost to them.

“No,” Xander answered. “I take no pleasure in invading his privacy, but I swore to protect him. Let us continue.”

“Enough!” the man’s voice snapped across the tiny wooden room. Both boys flinched from the verbal lash, but his fury was only directed towards one of them. He waved away the redhead. “I need to speak with Suzukaze alone.”

Saizo hesitated, sensing that whatever was coming would not be pleasant for his twin, but obediently bowed and walked out. It was a too familiar sight for Xander. Once he outgrew his father’s harsh lessons, he had often been in Saizo’s position, walking away from siblings he might never see again.

For the first time, he got to stay and watch. Xander wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

“Pathetic,” the ninja snarled at young Kaze. “I can’t believe you are my son. You’ve dishonored our family, our clan, and our entire country. You knew the Nohrians were gathering and said nothing. Kamui’s capture, Sumeragi’s death, this war…It is on your head, Suzukaze. You should pay for these crimes with your life.”

Kaze’s young voice, terrifyingly emotionless for its youth, rang out clear as a shrine’s chime in spite of his tremors. “Yes, father.”

The man sighed, “But Lady Mikoto has asked that you be shown mercy.”

“Father?”

“It is her wish that you spend your life in service to the Hoshidan royal family. Unlike your brother, you will serve no liege. Since the young prince was taken under your watch, you now belong to him. Unless Kamui returns, you will spend your life as a lowly servant, your greatest aspiration to give your life for Hoshido in penance for your deeds. Is that understood?”

“Yes, father.”

“Good. Get out of my sight. And do not breathe a word of this to your brother. His only concern should be Lord Ryoma’s well-being. His Lord just lost his father thanks to your blunder.”

“…Yes, father.”

The boy’s cheeks were dry when he stood, walking out of the room with a face carved of ice. Xander’s hand slipped through the child’s slight shoulder. An illusion. Large knuckles bled white and nails bit into flesh as he stared at Kaze’s retreating back.

The world lurched. It shifted and folded upon itself until it was smaller, revealing a bare room save two cots and a handful of belongings. The boy collapsed onto one of the mats.

“Pathetic,” he breathed to himself. Tiny shoulders shook, tears hidden against his arms.

“Kaze…” Xander whispered. 

He had known the pleasant ninja was deeply attached to Kamui, following her everywhere she went, but not why. How long this wound must have festered. It was practically a gilded, personalized invitation for Anankos to devour Kaze’s soul.

“There’s more,” Nyx informed the prince. Her voice remained aloof, but her timeless eyes glinted with moisture above the shield of her veil.

The scene shifted again, and this time the room faded away completely. Kaze aged before Xander’s eyes, stopping every few years.

A teenager, beaten to a pulp by his twin in a sparring match. He hid his wounds, wrapping them away from the prying eyes of eager girls.

“Weak,” Kaze’s voice hissed in Xander’s ear. The prince whirled, but there was only darkness behind him.

He turned back to see Kaze a few years older. The royal family was holding a feast of some sort while Kaze stood plastered to the wall. He made small talk with each of them, smiling sweetly, but everyone save Mikoto ignored him in favor of speaking with each other or their retainers.

“Worthless,” Kaze’s voice accused.

He filled into a young adult, staring at his brother who was now missing an eye and reporting to Ryoma. Kaze tried to say something, but Saizo brushed past him without a word.

“Shameful.”

Xander’s stomach fell through his feet as he saw Kaze, kneeling before the Nohrian throne, expecting to die as he stared into the eyes of Kamui - the debt he could never repay.

“Disgraceful.”

And then it was present day. Jakob glared at Kaze as he neared Kamui, snapping that the princess needed no more retainers. The ninja nodded in understanding and walked away.

“Useless.”

At last, the visions stopped. Only Kaze remained.Even in the dark, Xander could see that wetness gleamed at the corner of half-lidded eyes. He stood alone, staring at his hands, heedless of the oppressive void that crawled around the three of them. Anankos’ will given form. 

Xander had already begun to move by the time Nyx confirmed what he instinctively sensed, “This is your chance, Prince Xander. If you want to save him, you must find a light I can use to push back Anankos’ control.”

“Kaze,” Xander said, reaching out to the suffering man. The ninja floated away from his touch as deceptively as a summer breeze.

“Prince Xander, Anankos wants you, too. Please, kill me before I infect you,” he muttered. The hands he stared at curled into claws.

Ridiculous. Calling on every ounce of his regal authority, Xander declared, “I’m not leaving without you.”

“Please, milord. Don’t let me fail you, too.”

“You won’t,” Xander assured him. “I believe in you.”

Kaze laughed, the bitter, shattered sound sharper than his shuriken. “You know now what I’ve done. What I’ve failed to do. Surely you realize your faith in me is misplaced.”

“No. But I realize now that you have no faith in yourself,” Xander replied evenly. “If you cannot trust yourself, then trust me instead. I will not fall to the darkness. Not as long as Nohr needs me.”

An oath they both knew Xander would uphold if it was within his power. He prayed it was enough.

Shimmering violet eyes glanced up from palms swathed in Anankos’ shadowy tendrils, the dragon’s influence made visible through Nyx’s magic. Kaze stared at the prince in silence. Holding firm in his resolve, a lesson taught to him by Kaze himself, Xander stared back, unbending, while he awaited an answer.

The oppressive aura enveloping Kaze faltered. 

It wasn't enough to banish the evil, but it was a start. This time, Kaze did not pull away when a weighty hand rubbed at his shoulder, warding away the cold, unforgiving prison of his memories. He tried to speak, to deny Xander’s comfort, to protect him from his own generosity, but Kaze’s admiration ran too deep to dismiss the prince’s words as lies. There was none better to stand against the dark than the Crown Prince of night itself. A wet sob wrenched itself free from Kaze’s throat instead.

Warmth cocooned him, muffling the grief warring for control of his body. Xander’s steady voice murmured, “It’s alright, Kaze. I’ll be your strength until you can find your own.”

“I’m so…so…”

Xander never wanted to hear the word “pathetic” from him again.

“You are dutiful, skilled, and strong. That you could bear this burden alone for so long is remarkable. But no longer,” he promised. 

Xander pulled Kaze even tighter against him, an unyielding wall against which the stoic ninja’s torrent of emotions broke. Kaze could scarcely form words past the shaking of his lips and closing of his throat.

“F-forgive…m-m…”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Xander said. “It is because of you I met my beloved sister. Because of you I have found a true friend in this brutal war. I am blessed to know you, Suzukaze. Please, come back with me.”

The void cracked. It was only a sliver, a fledgling glint of light peeking out from the inky blackness around them. The tiniest doubt challenging a world of certain despair. That was all it took for Nyx, who stood all but forgotten behind them, to shatter Anankos’ hold with a single word.

The dream realm melted away around them, leaving behind a small, dimly lit cottage with a series of symbols and circles scribbled in chalk on the floor. In the center sat Kaze and Xander, the ninja still huddled in the other’s embrace.

Xander looked up to Nyx, who nodded. It was done. She excused herself silently - there would be time to talk about consequences later. Right now, Kaze needed time to recover.

Hushing away Kaze’s attempt to apologize once again, Xander cupped the ninja’s head to his armored chest, letting sage hair tickle along the top of his cravat.

“I don’t want to hear another apology from you,” he commanded.

Kaze half-chuckled, his voice raw but no longer lost. “Yes, Lord Xander.”

“Good. Tomorrow, we will start to drive all those lies you’ve told yourself from your mind. Until then, rest.” The prince pressed Kaze’s cheek to his cold, dark breastplate for emphasis. It couldn’t have been comfortable, but Kaze didn’t complain. They sat in silence on the wooden floor, listening to the quiet lullaby of their evening breaths and the chirping of crickets outside.

“….Thank you for saving me, Lord Xander,” Kaze whispered, his lips caressing unforgiving plate.

Xander smiled where Kaze couldn’t see. “There’s no need to thank me. I will always come for you, my friend.”


End file.
